Hello, my parenting community, and Happy Monday!
Halloween is this week and it can be an exciting time for many kids, but for children who are easily frightened, it can bring a mix of anxiety and discomfort. As a child psychologist, I’ve worked with many families to help children navigate the holiday in a way that feels fun and safe. Here are three strategies to consider if your child is easily scared:
- Set Expectations Ahead of Time
Halloween often means surprises, which can be unsettling for a child who is sensitive to fear. A few days before Halloween, like today, talk with your child about what they might see or experience—like costumes, decorations, or spooky noises. Let them know that even though things may look or sound scary, it’s all make-believe. Walking around the neighborhood in daylight to point out decorations can also help familiarize them with any “scary” houses or figures so they feel less intimidating.
- Allow Them to Set Their Boundaries
It’s essential to respect your child’s comfort levels and let them set boundaries for what they’re ready to try. (This is the priority rather than living your Halloween dreams. This was a discussion in my office regarding a father’s perspective about his “not so fun” son.) You can offer alternatives like hosting a family movie night with “not-too-spooky” movies or visiting friends with non-scary decorations. Giving your child the choice to opt out of things that feel overwhelming can help them feel in control of their experience, and it may even make them more open to exploring Halloween activities next year.
- Practice Coping Skills for When They’re Scared
Equip your child with tools to manage any scary moments. Deep breathing exercises can be effective—try “2-2-2 breathing”: breathe in for two counts, hold for two, and exhale for two. (In adults, we use the same method 4-4-4.) You could also suggest bringing a comforting object, like a favorite toy or a small flashlight, which can be a reassuring “safety” item. If they do get frightened, practice using calm words like “Remember, it’s just pretend” or “I’m right here with you.”
- t’s OK to NOT Trick or Treat
Halloween still be a ton of fun without stepping outside. Letting them hand out treats can be a perfect way for them to experience Halloween without feeling overwhelmed. By staying in a familiar environment, they can engage with the night and at a safe distance. Set up a table out side of your door or a few camping chairs all ready to hand out treats, adding a sense of ownership and pride. (BTW, this is where you will typically find me, lol.) Some kids feel much more at ease watching others come to them instead of venturing out into an unpredictable environment.
Remember, Halloween doesn’t need to be scary to be fun! By following their pace and supporting them with calming strategies, you can help your child feel comfortable and, hopefully, enjoy the holiday in a way that feels just right for them.
Have a good time this week.
xoxo,
Dr. Marnee