Moms are often seen as the superheroes of the household—juggling work, kids, and endless to-do lists with seemingly effortless grace. But behind the scenes, many mothers struggle with a silent burden: The difficulty of asking for and accepting help. This reluctance stems from a deep-seated belief that they should be able to handle everything on their own. (There is that SHOULD statement that I totally resemble!)
Whether it’s the fear of being judged, the pressure to live up to unrealistic standards, or simply the desire to maintain control, many moms find it hard to reach out when they need support. The truth is that I have been struggling with this and have a few more weeks to go since my surgery has left me limited. ***I am fine and will be better than ever.***
So, we all know that this SHOULD mindset can lead to burnout, stress, and even resentment. The truth is- no one can do it all, and trying to live up to that impossible standard is neither healthy nor sustainable. (I am working through it now, lol.) Moms need to realize that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a necessary act of self-care. It’s okay to lean on others, whether it’s for help with the kids, a shoulder to cry on, or simply to take a break. ***Thank you for the calls, groceries, flowers, chocolates, laundry folding, dishes being washed, visits…they have helped me so much.***
We need to remember that help can come in many forms, and it doesn’t always have to be from another adult. Children, no matter their age, can be valuable contributors. Younger kids can pitch in with small tasks like setting the table or tidying up their toys, while older children can take on more responsibility, like helping with dinner or watching their siblings. Involving children not only lightens the load but also teaches them important life skills and the value of teamwork. ***I can not thank my son (who is home) enough for all he has done and continues to do!***
I am sure that breaking this cycle starts with changing the narrative many of us have. It’s time for moms to embrace the idea that they deserve support and that it’s perfectly fine to ask for it. Letting go of the guilt and embracing help can lead to a happier, healthier family life—and a much happier mom. Another bonus is that the kids feel valued, too. After all, even superheroes need a sidekick sometimes.
Happy Growing,
Dr. Marnee