This past Friday I had the unfortunate experience of attending a funeral of a long-time friend. We met when I was a freshman in high school and she was a sophomore. She was warm, funny, full of smiles, and vibrant. We lost touch over the years and reconnected at preschool with our kids. I then got to know her as a dedicated mother of two. Over the past many years, I had the privlage of getting to know her as a professional. We collaborated regarding the care and education of several of the children that she tutored. She loved her students.
Suicide is a deeply tragic and complex phenomenon that leaves behind a wake of devastation and unanswered questions. When it occurs in middle-aged mothers who develop late-onset psychiatric disorders, the pain and confusion are amplified.
Late-onset psychiatric disorders, such as major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and others, can manifest unexpectedly in middle age, often catching both the individual and their loved ones off guard. For mothers who may have spent decades managing the demands of family life and careers, the sudden onset of these disorders can be disorienting and overwhelming. The stigma surrounding mental illness may also intensify feelings of shame and isolation, making it even more difficult for mothers to seek help. (This last part was not my friend, as she desperately sought help.) Unfortunately, the stigma surrounding mental illness remains a pervasive barrier to understanding that mental health issues are part of human health. I will say it again, mental health is human health! Many mothers may fear judgment from others, worrying that their struggles will reflect poorly on their ability to fulfill their multiple roles. This fear of stigma and shame can prevent them from reaching out for support, trapping them in a cycle of isolation, despair, and distorted thinking. Changes in behavior, such as withdrawal from social activities, increased irritability, or expressions of hopelessness, may indicate that a mother is struggling with her mental health.
I call on our communities to create a safe space for open communication and provide unconditional support, reassuring mothers that they are not alone in their battles.
Can we hold non-judgmental space for those who are struggling?
Can we provide access to mental health resources and treatment options ensuring that mothers receive the care and support they need to manage their conditions effectively?
Can we hold non-judgmental space for those who can not beat the disease and commit suicide?
Can we show empathy and support for those loved ones who are left behind when the interventions can not outmatch the disease of mental illness? These family members must live broken without a chance of full repair.
The tragedy of suicide among mothers affected by late-onset psychiatric disorders is a stark reminder of the urgent need for greater awareness, empathy, and support. We must break the silence surrounding mental illness and start advocating for comprehensive mental health care!!! Let us honor the memory of those lost to suicide by working together to create a society where mental health is prioritized, and no one suffers in silence.
Mental health is part of human health!
xoxo,
M
RIP: MLRR
May your memory be for a blessing.